Sunday, November 16, 2008

Changes...


I've tried my best to avoid posting too too much about my personal life on my blog lately, but it is inevitable that people are going to ask questions. Questions I'd rather not give the answers to; so I'm hoping maybe I could just kill it now before it becomes an issue. Plain and simple.. I need a place to live. I've been searching all over local newspapers and craigslist and you'd be amazed at how outrageous the prices are in this area. Never-mind prices for a studio apartment.. I'm thinking more along the lines of what some people are asking to rent one room in their home to help them pay the mortgage. The economy is affecting everything I guess.. but as gas and heating oil prices fall, it makes very little sense to me. So now I am searching for people looking for roommates. On November 30th I will be moving out of the apartment I currently live in. I have no idea where I am going.. but I am leaving regardless and something I'm sure will pan out. For those of you who have followed me for a few years now or know a little bit about my life.. you'll notice words like "studio apartment" and "renting a room." Yes.. I am moving alone; as Sarah and I are no longer together.

I have no need to go into the details here, because for the most part it's our business only really. Typing this makes me squirm and is uncomfortable at the very least. The typical first question from someone not in the situation is, "Why, what happened?" And the simple answer is this: Sarah and I know why and what happened and the best decision is being made. What makes it extremely difficult is the fact that the earlier stages of our relationship were documented in a film I made titled "48." A lot of people saw the film and in turn made our relationship a sort of public affair, of which it really need not be. And I guess this is all I'm going to say about why and what happened...

Going through life's changes such as this are never easy, especially after 7 years with someone. Especially when you are a New Englander... people who do not like change. I guess I've always felt that I was indifferent to change; but now that change has beckoned itself on my door, it scares the crap out of me. I guess I can't honestly say that either though... because change is all I've done for seven years. This situation has been evolving over the last several months if not years, and as each day passes by it seems to get more and more stressful. It's easy for many of you to think about it and maybe be in disabelief.. but if you were in my shoes, you'd understand and probably learn a story different then the one you all think you know. In this life we are all in this undying pursuit of happiness. There are many things that make us happy, some are bigger "things" than others. I once wrote, "We are the authors of our own books, writing the pages in between.." You've read this quote here before I'm sure.. and it's a quote that holds true in every aspect of my everyday life. I AM the author of my own book, and I AM in the pursuit of some certain happiness. Unfortunately a chapter in my life is coming to a close a lot sooner than I had anticipated a few years ago. The pages are filling now with words of hurt, loss, disappointments and much more. But where this chapter will leave off, a new chapter will arise. The ink will flow once more from my proverbial pen and the authors story will continue to be told.

So I guess if you live on the seacoast of NH and know of a person looking for a roommate, someone looking to rent a room or a cheap apartment near-by.. by all means let me know Sherpajohn@gmail.com
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Speaking of changes, November is a crazy time in New Hampshire weather-wise. As I look out my window the wind is screaming as yet another coastal storm rolls on by. One good thing is that the sun is finally out.. thats good for many reasons but none more than the fact that its the first time we've seen the sun here since Monday morning.. yup, almost a week! This happens often here this time of year as the season's continue to change and we dive into the ice age. I'm not a big fan of winter (if you didn't all ready know), but I am determined to make the best of it this year. There are many adventures to be had. My snowshoes are dusted off, my gear closet is getting some minor updates and I'm getting ready to roll. All I need now is figure out how to warm my body up!